Scouting For "Camel Toads" At The Pool

A nosy parent finds a message that their young son was writing to a friend.

In it he says he’s going to our local pool to “scout out some camel toads.” (I believe that’s what it said, he had spilled iced tea all over the desk when writing it…)

Of course, even Leslie isn’t as clueless as this parent. She writes:

What he undoubtedly wrote was “camel toes,” a crude euphemism for, well, too-tight pants worn by females. The good news is that the expression has absolutely nothing to do with drugs. It has everything to do with why teenage boys go to the pool in the first place.

My Worst Nightmare

Have you ever had a bad dream, only to wake up and find out it’s true. Take the poor sap who is going to marry this candy dick sucking bridezilla. Man, I get the heeby-jeebies every time I just think about this picture.

Bad Dream

Sawyer Nickname Generator

I’m a big fan of Lost and one of the most entertaining characters is Sawyer. He has a nickname for everyone on the island. If he really likes you, he has several nicknames. Lost came up with a nice distraction that creates nicknames that Sawyer would give you based on your name and personality. My nickname was Ferdinand.

Lost Sawyer Nickname Generator

The FAIL Blog

Life is full of failures. These failures desperately want to be photographed and made fun of in order to emphasize one true fact, failure doesn’t happen by itself, it requires someone to help make it happen. That’s where The FAIL Blog comes in – to chronicle any and all FAILs that happen.

knievelfail.jpg

Things Younger Than McCain

John McCain was born on August 29th, 1936. His father was born in 1911 and his mother was born in 1912. If elected, he would be the oldest person to ever hold that office. That’s the inspiration behind the Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention “war hero”?) John McCain website. Among the many things that John McCain is older than are:

  • The Shopping Cart
  • Nylon
  • Velcro
  • Cheerios
  • The Golden Gate Bridge
  • The Chocolate Chip Cookie

Things I Did Last Night

Things I Did Last Night — for the record, I didn’t do any of these things.

A Calendar Made From Humans

As sickening as it may sound, it’s all cool, because they’re still alive — trapped in little boxes with cards, but still alive. Craig Giffen created The Human Calendar, because he obviously didn’t have anything else better to do with his life.

Multiple Meanings for “Nut Huggers”

I used to think that my old girlfriend was a “nut hugger,” but it turns out people use that term in different ways. I’m not talking about new boyfriends of my old girlfriend, I’m talking about completely different uses of the meaning that my old girlfriend would hug my nuts.

Urban Dictionary proved me wrong (or indifferent as it might be) with their long list of “nut huggers” definitions. A couple of my favorites were:

Really tight jeans worn by a man – as in, “Damn Bell’s got his nut huggers on today

Pants that are so tight, the testicles are squeezed so tight, that they almost become non-existent. Usu. worn by piece of shit Hicks from the Llano Texas area. Most people hope it will cull their ability to breed – as in, “James and Jason Milam have no nuts left, because they wore nut huggers far too long for there to be any hope of salvation for their balls.”